If you were into dance music in the late 90’s and early 2000s then yes. If you weren’t then probably no. It was a style that fused 80’s electronic sounds with more modern (at the time) dance influences. It was cool because it was one of the first electronic music genres to actively try to sound rough and dusty and more analogue since it was trying to replicate old synth sounds. This rough style would be one of the influences that would lead to electro house in the later 2000s and then everything that kinda came out of that.
I’m a big sucker for 80’s sounds so I fell for this music hard and it’s one of the genres responsible for me getting into dance music. Since it’s been about 10 years since the genre faded away it seems like a good time to revisit it. For older dance music fans it’s a journey of nostalgia and for younger fans it offers a chance to discover something they missed.
There is no fucking order to this list so kill yourself if you get angry. Or don’t. Choose life. Also these are my personal choices but you are welcome to suggest any tracks you think are dope or tha bomb.
FELIX DA HOUSECAT FT MISS KITTIN – SILVER SCREEN SHOWER SCENE
This is one of the most prototypical of electroclash tracks. It was also the first one to really fucking take off. There were others that were earlier but they were not as famous nor do they do as good a job of representing the electroclash sound. It’s thumping, driving and relentless. Kinda industrial in a way. It evokes a cold world. It evokes detachment. The vocals are delivered in a very deadpan way. Miss Kittin, who is featured in this track, was like the voice of the electroclash movement. She was on like so much shit. Felix da Housecat was also super huge in that shit.
I feel like that description could have been better but now I feel way too lazy to fix it because I have nine more to write and this is gonna take all day if I waste my time “editing” like a loser. Like someone too cowardly to commit to what they wrote. Someone trying too hard to impress you. You, my readers, are like the way they describe women in men’s magazines. If I try too hard you’ll think I’m a nice guy and won’t be interested. Why do you think I’m wasting your time with this fucking paragraph in the middle of a feature on dance music from 10 years ago? Crazy right? Let’s make this list super fucked up for fun.
BLACK STROBE – ME AND MADONNA
So this track was one of my faves. Black Strobe was the duo of Ivan Smagghe and Arnaud Rebotini. I write “was” but technically the group is still around without Smagghe. They are so fucking irrelevant though so it’s like they don’t exist. They are dead to me. This track was dope though. They will always have that. A rich man can accumulate great wealth but on their death bed it is of little comfort. When these guys are dying either by natural causes or in a plane crash they can remember in their last moment that they made this track and it brought people pleasure, even if it was only for a few minutes. Some people contribute only pain to the human condition.
LADYTRON – PLAYGIRL/ LADYTRON – SEVENTEEN
I love both these track but it just feels wrong to give Ladytron two fucking separate entries. “Playgirl” was more my fave so it’s listed first but “Seventeen” was pretty cool too and made me feel like I was super old at the age of 23 which is really cool to do. Apparently they didn’t like being called fucking electroclash but fuck it, I’m gonna put them there. They have all the hallmarks. Throbby electronicy stompy 80’s sounding music. Detached vocals and looks from the band.
I love their fucking commitment to looking like detached 80’s future robots. They wore uniforms for like the first 5 years and shared the same haircut. I would have been a terrible addition as a bald guy. It would be like “thanks for ruining our look with your baldness asshole” even though I wasn’t bald at that time. I’m just thinking of me now as an almost 35 year old man. Anyway, that’s Ladytron. They were actually a great band with tons of great music.
MISS KITTIN & THE HACKER – FRANK SINATRA
This track is the fucking best thing ever. I say that right now but it’s actually a lie. I’m just really enthusiastic because it has been like 10 years since I heard this and I forgot how great it was. This may be lyrically the most Walmer Convenience song that has ever existed. I love fucking casual swearing. That might have been a bit forced.
I think Miss Kittin was so great as a vocalist for electroclash music because she can do that deadpan perfectly and has a French accent which automatically makes everything sound arrogant. It’s wonderful really.
PLAYGROUP – NUMBER ONE (BLACK STROBE REMIX)
This one is all for obscurity points. Finding a copy of this remix is #rare if you’re a weirdo who can’t google “playgroup number one black strobe remix mp3 320” (how easy did I just make that?).
The original of this track is for lames. This remix though? Holy shit. It makes me feel like I’m skiing down a mountain of cocaine, going off a jump and and landing on a surf board in a sea of cocaine and riding waves of the white stuff to Cocaine City in the country on Cocainia. So, yeah, good times.
VITALIC – MY FRIEND DARIO
What you might not know about this track by Vitalic, other than it’s existence, is that everything is synthesized. The guitars are synthesized, the voice of the chick is fake too. It’s all fucking fake which is kinda amazing. This was towards the end of the electroclash era and what’s cool is that rock vibe of this track totally fucking presages the rise of heavy sounds that emerged right after like Justice and the Bloody Beetroots (remember that time?).
FISCHERSPOONER – EMERGE
I like this track more now than at the time it came out. It was always like the electroclash track I was wishy-washy about but now I’m like “this was not so bad”. I think it’s because the video for this is blocked in Canada for some reason. The video just rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t like their gib. They just really seemed artsy and free and I hate that.
I’ve very rarely taken artistic risks so when I see others do it I react with hate which is really a cover for jealousy. Just like all the hardcore Christians are jealous that they can’t act gay so they pretend they hate them or the people from your high school who decided to stay in the suburbs and have children and get obvious jobs are jealous so they tell you that you chose wrong or they laugh about hipsters even though hipsters are happier than them.
Jealousy is one of the main drivers of politics. People just need to admit to themselves they want something and then go for it instead of supporting hateful political movements. Haters.
MISS KITTIN & THE HACKER – STOCK EXCHANGE WOMAN
This track is so dope that I use the word “dope” to describe it instead of more dignified words like “astounding” or “monocle dropping”. I guess I just feel like a stock exchange woman at heart. That’s a natural thing for a hetero man right? I don’t have anything more to write about this track. If you read this far you are no doubt expecting humour or commentary with every track. It’s time you learned the meaning of disappointment.
Really when you think about it, not getting the jokes you were expecting in a music blog post is like the least of the problems human beings have to face. You should feel shame. Yeah. What a downer this post was eh?
GOLDFRAPP – NUMBER 1
Yeah yeah the track “Ooh La La” was way bigger but that’s for fucking noobs and I think I still hear it in car commercials. Is that what you come here for? Car commercial shit? Just watch network television like a loser then. Call the Internet “the world wide web” like you just learned about it. Nah. At this site we delve deeper. We call the Internet “The Net” like cool people. We use skateboards here.
Skateboards are strictly for cools right? Anyway yeah this song.
GOLDEN BOY & MISS KITTIN – RIPPIN KITTIN
This one is more house and less electroclash but that has helped it age better. I never really was exposed to this track during the electroclash explosion but now that I really am taking the time to listen and appreciate it, it’s great.
So there. That’s our electroclash journey. What were your favourite tracks? Was this new for you because you are young and have your whole life ahead of you or was this old news and you are not young and you are definitely closer to death just by default?