bernie sanders

BERNIE SANDERS STILL HAS A PATH TO THE PRESIDENCY

Posted on Posted in Features, News

Here at Walmer we’ve crunched a few numbers and had some experts look at election laws and the constitution. What we found was very interesting. The mainstream media won’t tell you this but Bernie Sanders can still be come president. We’re gonna show you how.

WAY #1: WRITE IN CANDIDATE

This is the least likely scenario. Bernie would have to have more people write his name in than people vote or Hillary or Trump. It’s still possible. He would also have to do better than the ever popular candidate Deez Nuts.

WAY #2: EVERYONE DIES

All the other candidates die from AIDS or the plague or something. In disarray there will be only one man America can turn to after Deez Nuts: Bernie F. Sander ESQ.

WAY #3: MILITARY COUP

This is a popular way people become president in other countries around the world. All Bernie would have to do is rally the majority of the military to his side, take control of key infrastructure, steal the nuclear missile codes and voila! America finally gets a truly progressive president.

WAY #4: THE INDEPENDENCE DAY SCENARIO

This is the most likely way Bernie Sanders can become president of the USA. It would just require an attack by the Independence Day Aliens, you know the ones from the popular movie. If they attacked and Bernie Sanders is able to fly an F-15 fighter jet rally well and maybe also he makes an awesome speech like Bill Pullman in the movie then people will be like “just make him president” and that’s what will happen. After that he can eliminate tuition and student loans.

So there you have it.

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