This week the world-famous mobile app has decided to ban the hashtag “#EDM” because they feel it “violates their guidelines around nudity.”
The company also (rather humorously) banned the hastag “#curvy” for the same reasons. Regardless of the fact that they equate the reasons for the ban on the two hastags, I’m glad that they have banned searches for both of these hashtags. When I log into Instagram, the last thing I want to see is half-naked (and #curvy) raver girls (or boys) when I’m cruising for some new dank memes. Of course, because Instagram’s executives have no spine and because of huge backlash from land-whales and their hurt feelings, they unblocked the #curvy hashtag. I wish they didn’t. But here are some reasons why nobody should worry about #EDM getting banned from Instagram.
1. THEY’RE GONNA REPEAL IT JUST LIKE THEY DID WITH #CURVY IF YOU KICK AND SCREAM AND CRY ENOUGH
That’s right. In today’s society if you run a company, you don’t actually run the company. Your clients and users run the company, and they run you. If you do something they don’t like, you bet your ass you’re gonna be shamed all over Tumblr and have your information doxxed. Then you’ll be forced to resign. Fun!
2. IF YOU DON’T LIKE THEIR NEW RULE JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO USE THEIR PRODUCT
Just like Facebook or Twitter or this stupid blog I write for, nobody is putting a gun to your head to use it. If you don’t like something they do, just move on. There’s other places to share your #CurvyEDMs.
3. EDM IS A DUMB ACRONYM ANYWAY AND HOLDS NO MUSICAL SUBSTANCE ANYMORE
This may just be personal but I hate what this acronym figuratively stands for. EDM now means going to EDCLV and getting so hopped up on drugs that you don’t know who’s actually playing music. And if it stands for pictures of scantily clad rave girls (or boys), I hate it and it should go away. Your personal sexual expression has NOTHING to do with dance music. Thanks, bye.
4. YOUNG KIDS LOVE EDM, SO YEAH WE SHOULD NOT BE EXPOSING THEM TO MATURE THEMES
That’s up to their parents who just made the poor decision of giving their kid a smart phone. Just remember that when you publicly post your rave squad group photo and all of you are wearing minimal attire, that’s for everyone to see. That includes Little Johnny, his parents, your parents (who are already disappointed in you), potential future employers (if you work at all), your significant other (also disappointed), and your dog (the most disappointed).
If banning #EDM is a means to an end for preventing Instagram from becoming pornographic, so be it. I’m not gonna miss it and neither should you. But if you have an unquenchable thirst for sharing your naked body maybe you should give Ron Jeremy a call.