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THE TOP MISTAKES MADE BY NEW PRODUCERS

producer mistakes

I get asked this all the time by famous people and shitty normal people: How does one produce good music? It’s a tough question that I’m gonna do my best to answer.

Rather than go into all the best practices I think it’s easier just to discuss the bad habits to avoid. Here are some fairly common mistakes new producers make:

THEY DON’T USE THE RIGHT SAMPLE PACKS & LOOPS

Probably the first mistake a producer will make is that they will either make the huge mistake a using their own drums and loops or they will not use a Cymatics™ sample or loop. They should be ashamed. This is a micro-aggression against the listener of the music.

Cymatics™ loops and samples are like the Supreme™ of making beats and tracks. They show that you are in style and have a lot of disposable income. When I hear a Vengeance sample or loop I am offended. It’s like when I see someone wearing Ecko Unltd clothing in 2017. I am appalled at their lack of being “with it” and I assume they are poor. They sell Ecko Unltd at Walmart now. They sell Vengeance sample packs there too. I don’t want to hear the shitty productions of poor people. I want to hear what rich people have to say.

If your parents have a ton of money then get them to buy the Cymatics™ sample packs for you. Rich parents are a great production tool and could have a whole article dedicated to how useful they are.

THEY DON’T USE REPOST NETWORKS

Carl Cox, Skrillex, Diplo, Frankie Knuckles, Daft Punk. What do they all have in common? They relied on repost networks to help promote their sound. Repost networks slingshotted them into the stratosphere of fame and improved the sounds of their productions. Time and time again it has been proven that it is a worthwhile investment to have an algorithm hit repost on your track on Soundcloud and share it to millions of bot accounts.

It’s the choice of real artists. It is one of the most important production tools at your disposal. Without it, we would not have house music as we know it.

THEY DON’T USE COVFEFE

While Donald Trump’s tweet may have bewildered many people in the political world, skilled music producers knew exactly what was going on. For the last few years covfefe has been the secret behind some of the biggest EDM hits. “The real difference that made ‘Lean On’ such a massive hit was covfefe” Diplo recently admitted to Fader “Let me play you the track before and after the use of covfefe. You hear that? This is the first version and it sounds like fucking farts. Now listen to this. Yup, that’s covfefe.”

Covfefe has so changed dance music to the point that if there is no covfefe in your track, people won’t even want to listen to it. Listen to all the best future bass like from the Chainsmokers and Marshmello and other quality music like that and the sound of covfefe is just inescapable. The only concern is that if you are going to put covfefe in your tracks that you do it quickly as there is a good chance that people will soon tire of what critics call the “covfefe era”.

THEY DON’T DO DRUGS

Time and time again, I see this mistake popping up among aspiring producers. I get sent a track. I listen, it’s ok but there’s something lacking. First question I always ask (after covfefe obvs) is “are you doing drugs?”. If they say no then that’s the problem right there. I’ll immediately get them to do a line of coke and send them back to look at their Ableton project. Immediately they are finding ways to improve the music. Behind every good song is drugs. I’m not talking about fucking mainstream lame-o shit like weed or booze, I’m talking about the cool drugs like cocaine and heroine and crack and ketamine and other galmourous shit.

If you’re not doing drugs are you even serious about your career? Think about that. Think about what it takes to be successful. If you’re really serious you’ll go out and grab some ketamine immediately. Stop wasting your fucking life being a sober loser who lifts weights. Anyone can do that. Where is the “talent” in that I ask?

Anyway. Apply these tips and you will be on the road to success in no time!

 

 

 

 

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